September in Review

Oh my goodness, what a month!

Earlier this month, David went back out to sea. I handled it a lot better this time, now that I knew what to expect. It helped that I had a MOPS meeting the day before and a book club meeting the day after, so I didn’t have a lot of time to be sad. MJ loved having his daddy home. It’s heartwarming and hard to watch when I see them together. When David walks in, the baby-sized growth that attaches itself to his leg doesn’t come off until it’s time to say goodbye again. I still don’t think MJ understands what it means when David waves goodbye at the pier, but honestly that makes it easier. He figures out slowly that it’s just the two of us again and there isn’t any real anxiety to speak of. The first night is usually hard and we don’t sleep much, but after that he does okay.

When I first got to Spain, I was introduced to MOPS. I only went to two meetings because it was the end of the year for them, but I decided to jump in and join the leadership team anyway! We have our kickoff party this month at a beautiful park on base. I tried out a new recipe for pumpkin spice donuts that blew my mind. They turned out way better than I thought they would and I didn’t have to take any of them home with me. MJ loved all of the other kids running around and kept me busy chasing him most of the morning. I turned around once to find him elbow deep in a casserole dish of sausage rolls. When he saw me looking at him he grabbed two handfuls of them and tried to run away, haha! That’s my boy! Anyway, I volunteered to be a table leader, but was asked to step up and take on the treasurer role as well. I got to sit down with the rest of the team and brainstorm with them for a while, and I’m really excited about this year and the theme we’re working with.

David’s ship has a relatively new FSG (Family Support Group) so it’s still command sponsored. That means his CMC has to appoint all of the board members. I initially contacted him to volunteer for the secretary position, since I have a little experience with that. But, lo and behold, they needed a treasurer too, so I ended up agreeing to that instead. I figured with the two groups, I’ll be a pro by the end of the year. I haven’t met with the rest of the board members yet, but I’ve emailed a few of them and they seem like a great group. I can’t wait to get involved.

Did I mention, MJ TURNED ONE. My baby is officially a toddler. He’s walking and running and climbing all over the furniture. No talking yet, but lots of babbling and screaming. David and I decided we would wait until we were all together to have a cake and open presents, so I let Marshall have a “pancake smash” instead of the usual cake smash. He loved it, ate the whole thing. We spent the rest of the day playing and hanging out. It was low key, and part of me felt bad that I didn’t have something more exciting planned, but we don’t know that many people here yet. Really though, he’s a year old. He won’t even remember it, right? It’s probably just the mom guilt talking.

I got my Cricut Explore in the mail and hooked up and moved everything I needed to David’s Macbook, plus we switched the office and the nursery so I’m closer to the router. I’m still trying to fit designing and printing into my schedule though. I don’t know how to work it into the hours that MJ is awake because he doesn’t like me being in a different room than him. He’s struggling with some serious separation anxiety right now and that’s making it nearly impossible to work while he’s awake. I’m trying not to stress about it too much, though. It’s new, there are some kinks to work out, but that’s to be expected. We’ll get there.

October is looking full already too. I officially enter my mid-twenties (ugh) and I have a halloween party to plan. The Navy Ball is coming up soon too, and I have a huge surprise to share with you all soon about my hair! I’m debating giving it away right now, but the smarter side of me knows I should wait in case it all goes terribly wrong, haha!

Hope you all had beautiful Septembers. It’s FALL!

Tears, Tantrums, and 10 Month Olds

     Today was one of those days where I was counting down the minutes to bed time as soon as I woke up. We started the day with my son waking up early, having soaked through his diaper. (I’d probably be upset if I woke up in a puddle of my own pee too, don’t get me wrong, but it goes without saying that waking up to human screams and being coated in bodily fluids before you’ve had a chance to drink your coffee isn’t pleasant either.)

     I peeled off the old clothes, got him a dry diaper (disposable, because why not) and gave him his bottle. He’s at 4 bottles a day, 5-7 ounces each. But this morning? Oh no. You’d think I had tried to feed him dishwater with how much he fought it. I know why, too. He is usually still asleep when my husband leaves for work, but since he was up early this morning, he had to watch him walk out the door. I’ve mentioned before how attached MJ is to his Daddy, so that started an all out scream-fest. I gave up at 4 ounces and let him run around for a while.

When it was time for breakfast, he spit every. single. bite. back in my face with gusto and determination. We were both covered in applesauce and oatmeal and I was having to dig down deep for patience. After 15 minutes, I abandoned that objective as well and hauled him off to the tub for a bath. This was the happiest he was all day (no surprise) so I let him hang out in there for a good 30 minutes.

After that? It was a constant stream of meltdowns set to a soundtrack of cranky hollers. All he agreed to eat was two handfuls of Gerber Lil Crunchies and a peach slice and noon came and went with me still not having been able to make myself breakfast.

These kinds of days are rare here. My son is a mellow, light-hearted boy who finds mystery in sunbeams and music in the dishwasher. The Resting Grump Face my husband and I have did not get passed onto him. Because of that, these moods throw me off balance. I have to remind myself that babies have bad days and tantrums aren’t a resut of bad parenting on my part.  He isn’t going to starve if he misses breakfast, and no one is going to arrest me for calling glorified cheetos a lunch.

It was a bad day, not a bad baby, not a bad mom, just a rotten string of hours that don’t mean much of anything in the long run. Thank goodness for that.

August Goals

I’m a little behind this month, but when I was updating my planner last night I decided to getback in the habit of a monthly to-do list. This month is more hectic than most since David is home, so I’m not setting too many goals. Priority Number 1 is family time and I’m squeezing that in every chance I can get. It’s so, so wonderful having him home. Marshall wakes up and immediately looks for his Daddy, then spends the whole day staring at him. Night time has been hard because Marshall doesn’t want to go to sleep. I’ve wondered if it’s because he’s afraid David won’t be there when he gets up, since that’s a fairly common occurence, but I’m not sure if he’s old enough to have even made that connection. Still, bedtime aside, this month has been grand.

Like I said, not too many goals this month, but the ones I do have need to get checked off soon.

1. Pick up Power of Attorney paperwork
2. Take Marshall’s 11 month photo
3. Read The Light Between Oceans for Book Club
4. Research Printers
5. Send out birthday cards
6. Finish Blog Set-up
7. Finish Periscope Every Day in August Challenge

     And that’s basically it. I have a few packages I’m waiting on and a couple appointments to schedule but as far as I HAVE TO GET THIS DONE items, only seven. How about you? Anything exciting planned this month?

Excuse the Mess!

On my recent blogging hiatus, I put some thought into what I wanted out of this blog and decided that Makeshift Mama wasn’t getting me any closer to those goals. The majority of my posts are related to motherhood, and that isn’t going to change. but there are other niches I want to step into. After much thought, I’ve decided to head in a new direction, and with that change comes a new blog name! Junegrass and Willow are both plants native to my hometown, the place where I grew up, met my husband, and was married. Both of these grew in the front yard of the house I lived in when I fell in love with words. It seemed fitting to pay homage to them and to the place that started it all now that this beautiful life has lead me to so many new and exciting places.

I hope you’ll bear with me as I implement some changes and update my look. I’m hoping to dive back into posting full-force in the next week. Thank you!

Naptime’s Secret Weapon

Until fairly recently, MJ wore disposable diapers for naps and bedtime. The pockets I had were great during the day, but he never woke up in them without having leaked through to his clothing and crib sheets. I tried adding boosters and changing the type of insert I stuffed them with, which worked for a while, but once he dropped his morning nap and started sleeping 3 hours in the afternoon, we were back where we started. I was really frustrated by only being able to use cloth part of the time, and even though I firmly believe any cloth is better than no cloth, the money I was spending and the waste I was creating motivated me to give it one last shot.

I asked around on some CD Facebook groups and had several people recommend flour sack towels (FST) paired with Flip covers. Both are fairly inexpensive (a Flip cover costs $15 on the Cotton Babies website and FSTs were $1 each at Walmart) so I was able to give it a fair shot.

Oh my goodness, guys. It was amazing.

I folded the FST into half, then half again, and then into thirds. This fit perfectly into the cover since MJ is currently on the second rise snap. I don’t know how such a flimsy-looking piece of fabric can hold so much. I suspect wizardry, but who knows. When I changed him after his nap, the FST was completely soaked but none of it made it’s way past the cover. And that’s saying something. When he wears a disposable, he’s about ready to bust a snap on his pajamas by the time naptime is over.

Needless to say, I’m in love.

Have you tried this combination for naps? What cloth diaper combo works best for you?

Five Minute Friday: Relief

I’ve never liked bath tubs. Actually, I’ve never liked water. But the combination of water and a small, confined space just didn’t bode well with me.

That is, until I had a baby.

Now, when I can get 5-10 minutes alone, all I want to do is fill up that porcelain heaven and relax. The bath tub here is huge, much bigger than any I’ve ever had in the states. I can stretch out in it completely, let go of the sides and just… float.

The hot water. The silence echoing off the tiled walls. The cool breeze blowing through the window…

Relief, that’s what it’s called, isn’t it?

The pain in my muscles melts away and any stiffness eases. 5 minutes, before MJ wakes up, to just be.

I’m not a mom, or a wife, or a caretaker.

I’m just a body, in the water, with a beating heart.

No expectations or obligations.

Relief.

(Stop)

6 Month Update

Nearly two weeks late on this one, but here it is. In March, MJ reached six months. He’s 18 pounds, nearly 25 inches long, and there are even a few hair sprouting up on that head of his.

He’s grown so much already. Just today, he stood up on his own! I turned around, and he had pulled himself up on the side of his Daddy’s suitcase. The look on his face? Pure glee. He’s crawling and inch-worming all over the place. He holds long, detailed conversations with the furniture and can sit up on his own unasissted.

There’s so much personality in that little guy. His eyes light up every time he sees the cashier at the grocery store. He gasps with excitement every time his Daddy pops up on Skype. He wraps both arms and legs around my hand when I try and put him down for a nap.

I look back now and think about those newborn days, when I was scared that he’d never stop crying and I’d never know what I was doing. I wish I could have seen then what our relationship would blossom into. I no longer wish for him to fall asleep so I can rest my aching arms. Instead, I wish for him to fall asleep so I can gingerly pick him up out of his crib and revel in the snuggles he’s too busy to give during the day. I don’t inwardly grumble about making him a bottle at 4 am, because as the weeks go by, he’s needing those night feedings less and less. Those bleary-eyed bottles are our time. No tv, no phone calls, no Daddy. Just baby and me, wrapped up in covers, singing his lullaby while he drifts back to sleep clutching a fistfull of my shirt.

I fall more in love with this little person every day.

And We’re Back!

My, my! That was one heck of a month! We are still in temporary housing, and our household goods and car haven’t arrived yet, but most of the big stuff is out of the way. D is currently back in the states for training, so the little man and I are hanging out.
We have done a small amount of exploring, but mostly we’ve been getting things settled on base. There was a MUCH bigger pile of paperwork waiting for us than I had anticipated and we ran into a few roadblocks (who doesn’t?) Everything got sorted out in the end and I know my way around well enough to get gas and groceries. Being stationed overseas definitely requires busting out of that comfort zone. When we were in Mississippi, I could get away with just getting my toes wet for the first few months. Here? Not so much. Especially with D having school lined up so quickly. It was important that we jump in with both feet.
That was hard for me. I’m a homebody and I prefer getting to know a place slowly. But, I survived!

MJ is doing wonderfully. He is eating solids now and is the pickiest eater. He loves veggies, I mean LOVES them. But fruit? Nope. Won’t touch it. I can get the first spoonful into this mouth, but as soon as it touches his tongue, he spits it out and gives me the stink eye. His favorites are green beans and sweet potatoes, but he’ll also eat butternut squash, green peas, and zucchini. I’ve been enjoying making his purees at home. It takes a little bit of work (especially since the only dishes we have are a small box of rentals given to us by housing) but it’s worth it! I know what’s in it, I can buy my “Dirty Dozen” organic if I need to, and it motivates me to eat more vegetables as well.

Baby is also starting to get the hang of crawling. Yikes! He mostly rocks and scoots right now, but I expect in the next two weeks I’m going to have to start looking into outlet covers. He’s such a curious boy. He loves to watch me cook or watch his Daddy build coils for his e-cig. He’s been pretty clingy lately. I’m assuming the move is going to take some getting used to. Because of that, he’s been spending a lot of time in the ergo and naps have been a miserable time of day.

But, you know, it’s a phase. It’s a season. It will pass.

I am LOSING it waiting for our things to get here. I miss our bed and MJ’s cloth diapers and my slippers. Oh man do I miss my slippers…

I plan to get back into a normal routine now that we have internet (just got it two days ago.) How has everyone been? What have I missed? I really am curious, let me know!

We’re Moving To Spain: Glamping

Eventually I’ll write up what happened over the past week, but for now let’s just say that everything did work out in the end. And that’s what matters. All three of us have passports, we have our tickets in hand, and this time on Tuesday we’ll be somewhere above the ocean heading to our new home.

Yesterday, the three of us spent the day in New Orleans trying to get our hands on a passport for MJ (which it is possible to receive in ONE DAY. Wouldn’t that have been great to know earlier?) We arrived at the passport office at 8am and didn’t get to pick up the passport until 3pm, so it was a long day for us. We walked around a mall full of stores we couldn’t afford, took MJ to his first aquarium (he was not a fan) and took a walk along the waterside and snapped pictures of the river boats. D and I never got around to exploring the city while we lived here. We’re homebodies if ever there were any. But yesterday, we held hands and galavanted around town like we used to when we were dating. The only difference being the stroller, of course 😉

While we were in Louisiana, the moving company was at our apartment packing up our household goods. I learned so, so much about what NOT to do during an overseas PCS just by walking into our apartment last night and seeing what they had done. I’ll post more about that later, but for now I’ll leave you with this gem: HIDE YOUR TOILET BOWL BRUSHES. I’m already dreading opening that box two months from now and seeing what kind of science experiment was birthed out of that terrible mistake. Why on earth anyone thought we would want to take a wet toilet bowl brush (because you better believe I had just used it the night before) Is beyond me.

MJ is having a hard time adjusting to all the commotion. He doesn’t like the apartment now that it isn’t full of all of the things he knows and loves. Last night was a rough night for all of us. D and I shared a cold, half-inflated air mattress on the floor and the baby was in a travel bassinet. I saved an old blanket for us to use, but MJ spit up all over it last night and I was too cold to bother letting it hang-dry after washing, so it only covers one of us.

We pumped the heater up full-blast but it isn’t working very well and honestly it’s just a little depressing to be here. This was our first home together. It’s the place we found out I was pregnant and the place we brought our son home from the hospital to. We’ve celebrated holidays here. We’ve thrown open the door after traveling and felt so relieved to be back.

I don’t think I was emotionally prepared for how… Well, emotional this would be.

So instead of camping out on the floor the rest of the weekend, we’re going to bust our butts getting all the cleaning done today and then tomorrow, after D says his goodbyes, we’re going to make half our drive to Georgia and stay in a hotel. With beds. And towels. I can’t wait.

Updates may be few and far between for a week or so since I’m not sure what the wi-fi situation will be while traveling.

Please pray for us as we make our slow and steady way to Spain!

(Here are some pictures from yesterday)

How To Rock The Bottle: Part 1

(Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor or nurse, nor do I possess magical healing powers. The following is not a substitute for advice from your healthcare provider. It’s opinion and before you apply any of it to your life you should print this blog post out, take it to your doctor, and make sure I’m not completely full of crap.)
(Warning: There is a brief mention of blood and bodily injury that could possibly creep you out a little. Also, this post discusses breastfeeding and will therefore obviously discuss breasts. If that offends you- please leave my blog and return when you’ve matured.)

This is the 1st post of a 3-part series. Stay tuned for parts 2 and 3.

MJ is 4 months old now, and he has been formula-fed for 3 of those. Actually probably closer to 3 and a half, if I’m honest. I had this beautiful picture in my head of how breastfeeding was going to go for us. I had the pamphlets and was a Facebook member of the local LLL group. I owned a breastfeeding pillow, 2 nursing bras, 2 nursing tanks, 3 different types of nipple cream, and I had “lactation stations” set up throughout the apartment full of bottled water and healthy snacks. I read the books, I studied positions, I had a Pinterest board stocked full of recipes to help increase my milk supply. A Pinterest board! I was prepared. Then, MJ arrived, and plans had to change.

We had a lot of the same struggles that many moms have with their babies. My cesarean kept me from being able to move like I had planned, he had to have phototherapy while in the hospital, I had blood patches performed twice for the spinal headache I got from the epidural, both of which required 12-24 hours of flat-on-your-back bedrest. He was dehydrated in hospital and we supplemented with formula. None of my nurses had ever breastfed, and therefore had no idea how to help me. The closest thing to advice I got was when I, frantic and crying because I had just fished a piece of my own nipple out of my infant son’s blood-filled mouth, made D go and ask them what to do. The nurse looked up from her paperwork for .7 seconds and said, “That’s normal.”

I met with a lactation consultant the week after being discharged and rented the best breast pump money can buy. At this point, due to flat nipples on my end and a disinterest in nursing on my son’s, they said the best case scenario for us would be to continue trying to nurse, but focus on pumping. It wasn’t expected for MJ to ever be able to exclusively nurse. I danced the exhausting dance every pumping mom does.

Pumping sounds fairly simple when you think about it. Instead of the baby getting the milk directly from you, you attach the mechanical milking machine and then give it to your beaming bundle of joy via bottle. What no one told me to expect, however, was that babies will rarely be hungry the same time you pump. So instead of what I had imagined (pump, feed baby, both of us sleep) it looked like (pump, put away pumping supplies and walk towards bed, hear baby wake up, feed baby, start walking towards bed again, hear pumping alarm go off, repeat.) It was exhausting, but I figured hey, this won’t last forever. I just have to tough it out for a month and things will mellow out.

The LC had me pumping, then nursing MJ at the end when he wasn’t starving (and consequently screaming his fool head off.) In the three weeks I breastfed, the damage to my nipples never fully healed. They didn’t have time to. So nursing, and pumping, hurt from beginning to end and every minute in between. I had plugged ducts twice, and at the end of week 3 it turned into full-blown mastitis. I started on antibiotics, healed the infection, only to then get thrush. In my nipples. Yeah, that’s a thing.

At this point. I sat down, bawling my eyes out to D, and said “I’m done.”

When I was initially planning on breastfeeding, I had only ever planned to make it to the 6 month mark. Before getting pregnant, I was taking 2 medications for pain that I had stopped while TTC. One of them has had zero to no studies conducted on how much passes through breast milk and how much is safe for newborns. I was willing to wait to start those medications again if it meant giving my baby the best start, but at the end of that first month, I knew I was finished.

Now, here’s the thing. Nothing I experienced is uncommon. Lack of education and support, difficulty breastfeeding after surgery, flat or inverted nipples, nipple confusion, and nipple trauma are things that many a woman have dealt with. (To be clear, I’m not saying those things are normal or that they should be expected. Breastfeeding may be uncomfortable at first, but it should never seriously hurt. If it does, please, please see a Lactation Consultant and get some guidance. I promise there are hundreds of newfangled products and time-tested tricks you may not have heard of yet!) My point is that for all the “breast is best” and “eat local” t-shirts you see, the fact remains that currently in the US, less than 40% of mothers are exclusively breastfeeding at 3 months. Which means the large majority of little ones are going to be getting formula at some point in their life.

Hospitals and local communities are working very hard to increase that number and it is rising as the years go by. That’s awesome. I don’t know a single person who would argue that.

But do you know what isn’t getting any better? Information and resources for those who don’t breastfeed. When I first decided to make the switch completely, I found nothing. At least, nothing that wasn’t funded by Enfamil or Similac. My hospital didn’t offer information on formula feeding. Why? Because they don’t want to encourage it. Which, if I’m honest, irritates the living heck out of me. With over half of our country’s mothers giving their babies formula, there is an appalling lack of information available, which leaves mothers relying on life experience from their mothers and their mothers’ mothers. My mother is a genius, don’t get me wrong. But our understanding of babies and their needs, as well as our ability to create formula that is closer to breast milk than it ever has been makes advice from 50 years ago irrelevant and possibly dangerous. I’ve been told (not by my mother, thankfully)

-to water the formula down to make it last longer
-to widen the nipple and add rice cereal as soon as we get home from the hospital so the baby will sleep longer
-to add (insert magical herb) to solve (some problem that never applied to us in the first place)
-to start solids at 8 weeks because formula fed babies need to eat more
-to prop the bottle on pillows during feeding times so that I can multitask

In case you were wondering, all of that is bad advice. But, I didn’t know that at first. I had no idea how to weed out the gems from the constant stream of well-meant dirt I was receiving.

So, in hopes of saving someone from the 3 days of panicked Googling and intermittent crying that I muddled through, I decided to write up a mini-series. My next post will be a list of resources I’ve found, and the following will be a few ways to make the absolute best of your formula-feeding journey.

Because whatever you’re reason for formula-feeding, you deserve to have the facts and tools necessary to make it an enjoyable experience.

If you formula fed, what is one thing you’d say to a new mother just getting started? Leave it in the comments!